Looking Good, Right On
I decided to forego all illusions as to how I should treat the matter about pretending that I shall always stay on top. Of course, I never was on top. But then, it is pretty nice to sometimes pretend that I am.
(During the graduation picture in the studio in some side street near West Ave. last Thursday, I kept complaining ot the photographers about why they force us to smile when in fact we were the customers and it was our portraits being taken; we should have a say about how we will look. But then somehow, as I drove myself home wittily against the erratic U-TURN slots along Quezon Ave., I realized that complaining really didnt do me any good, save for the fact that it was a psychological need. Anyway, it occured to me why we always complain that we aren’t photogenic or that we look bad in photos. It isn’t that we don’t look good in pictures, it’s just that we have an idea in our very mind about how we are supposed to look, but then, it is just an idea we have of ourselves, and in truth, what the cameras take is how we really look like. We just can’t reconcile with the fact that our idea of how we look doesn’t match the way we actually are.)
So it came to me, I should never be so stubborn about the way things go and why things don’t go the way I want them to. Anyway, it is just that state of affairs and it is impossible to overcome what has already been done. In any case, if ever again I shall be caught in the middle of dissapointing turn of events, I shall just shrug my shoulders and recall to myself that our ideas of what a good day should be doesnt really jive at all with what actually happens with the world. The world is simply a cruel place to live in.
