October
if you’re always with the same set of people everyday and you are growing your hair long, they’re really not bound to notice. But if you get a trim and show up the next day, they’d say that you look different - funny, cute, fresh, young, whatever. Regularities bore us. The novel and the unprecedented, they shock.
it’s pretty much the same with the past. You can’t leave it behind when you are in the midst of living right through it. That is why, people say, there must be a break with the past, a sudden catastrophe, a very life-changing experience, for the moving on to be genuine and and acceptable. otherwise, there really is no telling if the past has ceased to haunt you. Unless there is some big thing that changes you and everyone else thinks that you have so been changed, the past stays.
What are these things that break the ties that bind? break-ups with your 5 year boyfriend. recovering from an accident or a failed suicide attempt. trying to get a move on with the death of your parents, or one of them. being rehabilatated after a long bout against addiction. being rejected or dumped by the person who promised to take care of you. Shit.
I’m beginning to sound like some self-help author. Fucking hell. This is not so bloody true of me. Let the bullshit past walk with me and I’d be throwing punches against it all the way. let it walk with me and I shall be shouting every bit of obscenity I know. There is no escape from the past unless we get tp kill it. Let not the past abuse you, but abuse the past to your fucking advantage.
"Inside of my heart is an army of angels, just `cause I let you go…volunteers they are here to love and help me only `cause I said no to the killer eyes that invite me to do things I would have to lie about (just lost their sparkle), and it’s better now, when you’re safe, you know I love you more when I’m far away, now that all I need is gone. "
barbie’s cradle rocks. I just found that out now. Inside of my heart is a lion, shuting for blood. hahaha. I’m quibbling. Oh well. Cheers to the coming October. One year since Greenday begged us to wake them up when september ends.
