20 years and I could only wonder why it ends up like this.
I still love the sound of grief in the morning. I’ve tired of hoping that there might be something surprisingly special every time I open my eyes during the sunrise. And, as always, there is none.
People have told me never to lose hope, but nobody absolutely ever told me that hope is all that there is. Always have your heart ready when the day comes that it is finally time to meet your beloved and fall in love completely, they always say. Fairy tales.
And to find failure everyday inspite of all the words of encouragement; to see defeat amidst all the inspiring lines.
I feel so neglected but whoever is responsible I do not know. Shame on me, the eternal optimist that tries to sourgrape and rant at every given chance.
This is the nice gift of brilliance, loneliness. Or, better yet, the nice gift of loneliness, brilliance. I hold on to both theories to sustain my willingness to live. But how could I go on, when it’s just plain for me to see that inspite of loneliness, brilliance, love, hope, whatever, this are merely words, of no use, of no existence, of no reason?
And tomorrow, i will wake up with a smile and go to bed in tears. Someday I might even tire of thinking. Tonight I am tired of feeling.
Truly, there has never been a sadder person in the world.
Jed said,
June 1, 2007 @ 6:59 am
20 years and I could only wonder why it ends up like this.
I still love the sound of grief in the morning. I’ve tired of hoping that there might be something surprisingly special every time I open my eyes during the sunrise. And, as always, there is none.
People have told me never to lose hope, but nobody absolutely ever told me that hope is all that there is. Always have your heart ready when the day comes that it is finally time to meet your beloved and fall in love completely, they always say. Fairy tales.
And to find failure everyday inspite of all the words of encouragement; to see defeat amidst all the inspiring lines.
I feel so neglected but whoever is responsible I do not know. Shame on me, the eternal optimist that tries to sourgrape and rant at every given chance.
This is the nice gift of brilliance, loneliness. Or, better yet, the nice gift of loneliness, brilliance. I hold on to both theories to sustain my willingness to live. But how could I go on, when it’s just plain for me to see that inspite of loneliness, brilliance, love, hope, whatever, this are merely words, of no use, of no existence, of no reason?
And tomorrow, i will wake up with a smile and go to bed in tears. Someday I might even tire of thinking. Tonight I am tired of feeling.
Truly, there has never been a sadder person in the world.